So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
