i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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