just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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