I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
