he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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