Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize