M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
