he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
