best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
NoShamevember. You game?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
