hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
