Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
