No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
