she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
