This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
