Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Say something about gay babies.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
