I cannot find my penis.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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