The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
