scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
