I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
