Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize