I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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