i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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