My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
