there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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