Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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