why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
