We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
