Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
