i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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