i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize