If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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