There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian