Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover