Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
