I'm so fucking centered right now
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
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She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
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I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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