Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
