i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize