Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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