what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
