got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
this just has baby written all over it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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