yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want her autograph on my taint
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
