I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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