Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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