morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize