we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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