I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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