I want to stick my p in your. b.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
