So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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