you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
