Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
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Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
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Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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