Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize