I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
