There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
