And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
