he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
farters have to be the big spoon...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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